We all speak to ourselves whether we’re aware of it or not.
Constantly giving ourselves feedback and comments about what we had done and how it could have been done differently. Not only on past actions but fear and stress of the future.
If you’re like me, you might put alot of pressure on yourself. The kind of attitude where everything is ‘okay’ but I could have done it better… I could have always tried harder.
It’s the mentality that perfection would be ideal, but I’m aware I could never achieve it.
If you are quite hard on yourself, ask ‘When did this start?’
I think back to my childhood. I had ballet teachers that would never praise us and would always give negative feedback, my father who had his own whirl of comments and my mother – who is wonderful – however her thoughts on her own body influenced how I think of mine.
I am not blaming anyone of these people in my life, however I am noticing the influence of their talk to me and their comments about themselves and how I have learnt thought patterns and behaviours.
I am noticing the pressure that I place myself under is no longer helpful. After going through recovery for an Eating Disorder, I’m learning that the only way to move forward in life is to show myself the love and respect that I show others.
On becoming a mother, I would like my children to grow up with a mother that has self love and is kind to herself. Children will learn from their parents and teachers around, not only words spoken directly to them but comments about themselves and their energy of their self esteem.
There will be alot of new pressure with being pregnant and being a parent. The idea is to hopefully ease back and understand that this may be your first time or second or third, but with each time a new experience avails and you can only try your best at any given time.
I know I myself have a long way to go with my self talk to become more positive and less harsh. I think with my eyes opening to motherhood, it will be a challenging yet fruitful task.
Here’s to becoming kinder to ourselves and setting a wonderful example of positive self esteem to our children and people in our lives.